My earliest lessons as a child were sacrifice is the greatest display of love. "Mothers/Wives do what they have to do" a mantra that was chiseled into my developing brain. I was born to serve others regardless of my emotional and physical needs. Religion fueled the belief that sacrificing self is a display of obedience. Work, religion,marriage, motherhood and appearance all equated to my self worth as a Woman.
Growing up in a heavily "Religious" household I was punished for expressing myself outside of my parents views of who I should be. Voicing my needs or wants were deemed "selfish", "not trusting in God" or my personal favorite "not being humble".
My fondest memories as a child was learning coping mechanisms. The coping mechanisms of denying my reality paired with the feeling of unworthiness were ways I knew I would receive love, attention and safety.
Women being able to selflessly run a household and work equals their self worth right? "Women are strong and can conquer anything", "Mommy will fix it" "Women are the strength of the family" are all thoughtless quotes that demonstrates sacrifice powers self betrayal and neglect.
Religious beliefs are traditional practices however when does accountability and self healing become traditional practices? Echos of generational declarations such as, "KEEP YOUR TRUST IN GOD". Yet, how valuable would it have been to be taught the power of trusting self in order to nourish my relationship with God.
Self-betrayal devalued me was a person creating the belief that a relationship was the origin of validation,love, approval, and self-identity.
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