Codependency has been the donor to abandoning my true self. Who I am has always been suppressed to manage others perceptions of my image. Addressing unfinished business from my childhood, grieving, and trust induced the idea of discontinuing the need to manage others perceptions of who I am. Coping mechanisms I adopted due to lack of being seen, heard and being able to authentically express as a child were being an overachiever, a caretaker, a rescuer, protector, always available and the hero worshiper. All these coping mechanisms are ways I managed individuals perceptions of myself. Craving to been seen motivated my need to be a perfectionist. Being perfect fed my codependency. Previous relationships were centered around emotional dependency because of my unhealed child. Craving for others to meet my childhood needs I began to manage others perceptions rather than living in my self healing truth. I wanted so bad to be acknowledged I adopted false roles. Being a caretaker to receive validation and acceptance qualified my worthiness. This fairy tale of being the perfect partner willingly invited the idea that my source of love was based off my amount of achievements. Who I am is being overlooked, while what I can do for one or how I make one feel emotionally and sexually powered relationships. No longer will my worth be amounted to how well I am managing ones perception of me.
